April 22nd, 2008 by skidoo (No Comments »)

April 13th, 2008 by skidoo (No Comments »)

There’s a new movie coming down the pike. It’s called Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed. An unfortunate film. Hosted by Ben Stein, it purports to be a documentary, but its intellectual dishonesty and underhanded exploitation is so pernicious that it deserves only one response: links to some of its most potent criticism.

First, I refer you to a catalog of review and analysis hosted by the eminent anthropologist Dr. Eugenie Scott and her National Center for Science Education.

Second, audio of an illuminating conversation between the editors of Scientific American and Expelled’s most prominent slug—er, I mean, producer—Mark Mathis.

Here’s a transcript of Scientific American’s editor-in-chief John Rennie making perhaps the most profound point of the discussion, in response to the film’s ridiculous assertion that the Theory of Evolution begat the Holocaust:

You know, Darwin didn’t suddenly pop into view in a vacuum. Darwin’s own ideas actually partly drew a lot from the ideas of the economist Adam Smith, who’s, you know, the father of modern capitalism. So really, we could say Adam Smith and modern capitalism caused [the Holocaust], because his ideas had those same kinds of consequences that led through this. Indeed, that’s what the social Darwinists were actually arguing. They went back to [Smith].

But here’s the other thing. Berlinsky said yeah, Darwinism was necessary but not sufficient. Now, you know what? That almost sounds like it’s attributing some significant level of proper measured responsibility where it should be, but seriously: shouldn’t the serious blame in any discussion of something like the Holocaust, where you killed 6 million Jews and however many millions of other people—where that many people were involved—isn’t it a grotesque offense against human dignity not to blame the sufficient causes for it? The ones that actually caused the Holocaust, as opposed to…let me name some other things that were probably necessary, if we’re gonna name Darwin.

Umm…it was necessary to have roads. It was necessary to have trains. It was necessary for there to be a chemical industry that could manufacture poison gas. It was necessary for everything that happened in World War I to set up the horrible events in the Weimar Republic that led to World War II. Weren’t all of those necessary, but not necessarily sufficient? How come you’re gonna pick on Darwin, and blame him for the Holocaust?!

Mathis’ response? "My, we’re upset." Yer damn right, you fucking troglodyte.

March 25th, 2008 by skidoo (No Comments »)

A recent post on Real UFOs highlights a video clip from The Learning Channel describing one Rudi Nagora’s encounter with a supposed spacecraft in the Austrian backcountry in 1971. Rudi took 12 photos of a barely visible disc-shaped object.

The venerable UFO Casebook presents a widely-circulated summary of the event. Here’s an excerpt:

After the approximately 5 minute sighting and film taking session, Nagora took his film back to Munich. UFO researcher Engineer Adolf Geigenthaler heard about the photographs, and began an investigation into the sighting. After careful examination, Nagora’s photos were deemed legitimate by several reliable experts.

You know what? Let’s give the saucer-heads the benefit of the doubt. Nevermind that the only source cited is a "UFO researcher." Nevermind that the "several reliable experts" and their techniques aren’t specified. Let’s just assume that the photos are legitimate. Let’s just take Rudi on his word. A disc-shaped object whizzed around in the sky over his head for a few minutes, and he got off a few snaps. Fine. It’s a UFO. An unidentified flying object. But is it an alien spacecraft?

That paragraph quoted above ends with the following sentence, which poetically encapsulates the madness that afflicts the millions who believe UFOs are evidence of extra-terrestrial visitors:

The photos have never been debunked, and still testify today that we are not alone.

No, at most the photos testify to the fact that Rudi saw something he couldn’t explain. To make the leap from "look, it’s evidence of something in the sky we can’t explain" to "look, it’s evidence of extraterrestrial visitors" is just desperate fantasy.

Of course the true believers will say (just as Rudi says in the video), "But it didn’t behave like any earthly aircraft!" So what? It could have been a prototype for a remote-controlled unmanned surveillance device. Who knows? The fact that you don’t know what it is means nothing. This "it must be aliens" position is an argumentum ad ignorantiam; an appeal to ignorance. Of all the possible explanations for this story and these photographs, the probability of the alien visitors hypothesis obviously ranks at the bottom of the list. It’s patently ridiculous.

But people need to fill their meaningless lives with something bigger than themselves. And there, in that need, is the foundation of woo. Religion, UFOs, bigfoot, astrology, divination, mediums, parapsychology, and so forth: All of these are born of people’s fundamental compulsion to distract themselves from the nihilistic void that is reality. Understandable. But primitive. Yesterday. Scientific skepticism is the new black.

March 21st, 2008 by skidoo (No Comments »)

No group of people is more callously exploited than ghosts. Unscrupulous profiteers shamelessly use these suffering souls to line their greedy pockets. Perhaps the most unconscionable culprits are our own public servants.

If some hapless woman makes the unfortunate mistake of offing herself in a jail cell, you can bet your last dollar the chamber of commerce will eventually swoop in and charge $20 per person for the opportunity to visit her death chamber and gawk at her spectral depression. And God help you if you’re a spirit stuck in a large state penitentiary. In that case the price doubles. And crappy TV shows come and bother you.

We need a new civil rights movement in America, to advocate for the interests of our dead but not forgotten ancestors. Ghosts are people too. Stop treating them like zoo animals. Or at least let them share in the profits.

March 6th, 2008 by skidoo (No Comments »)

A press release was published yesterday by a company called Efficacy Brands (oh that’s rich) announcing their new product Obecalp (”placebo” spelled backwards).

Jennifer Buettner, inventor of Obecalp, the first standardized, branded and pharmaceutical grade placebo in the world announces that a natural cherry flavored chewable Obecalp tablet is now available for wholesale and retail sale at InventedByAMommy.com.

Uh, what? Consumers scored a small victory recently when the company that produces that Airborne crap (”Created by a school teacher!”) got thumped to the tune of $23 million for making false claims about their overpriced multivitamin. But this mommy here is way smarter than that school teacher broad. Buettner admits up front that her product is BS. In fact, that’s the whole point.

Suddenly Jen was “mommy” to 3 beautiful children (all under the age of 14 months). Jen’s energies were now diverted to the love, nurturing and promise of the future to 3 precious babies….

Jen was amazed to learn that even though there is definitive proof of the “placebo effect” and its wonderful benefits, no standardized, branded placebo tablets or liquid exists for sale anywhere in the world. Countless hours of searching the Internet proved this to be true. Pharmacists she consulted had no placebos for sale either.

Uh, lady: every pharmacy in the US has placebos available for sale. They’re called Jujubes. And they only cost about $2.50 a box. Or give yer kid a damn spoonful of grape juice. Jesus jumping Christ.

I don’t have a problem with doctors doling out placebos to their neurotic patients. A recent study shows that plenty of them do just that. But moms don’t need to spend 6 bucks for cherry-flavored candy in a fake medicine bottle. Moms just need to be a little creative.

March 4th, 2008 by skidoo (3 Comments »)

Some young entrepreneurs in New York have started a company called Brooklyn Ghost Investigations. So yeah, whatever. Yet another paranormal “investigation” organization. Big whoop, right? With the unfortunate success of TV shows such as Ghost Hunters (gag!) and Paranormal State (double gag!), I’m sure little bands of romantic psi buffs are popping up all over the place.

But these guys are different. They don’t have a web site yet, but they have a significant web presence nonetheless. Somehow pasting up poorly-written flyers all over Brooklyn has made them into a mini-phenomenon.

First, I spotted the headline in the New York Daily News: Brooklyn-based paranormalists will clear out your ghosts for $20 an hour. $20 an hour?! I’ve never heard of anyone trying to charge money for a ghost hunting expedition, except dirtbag psychics (unless it’s a guided tour or something). Usually ghost hunters aren’t dirtbags. Just sort of…pathetic. Apparently these guys are striving to combine the worst of both worlds.

I did some digging, and next discovered that a few local Brooklynites had picked up the story and commented on it with amusement. I ripped the photo below of one of the organization’s flyers from Katia at Pardon Me for Asking. She transcribed it, spelling errors and all:

Attention:
Are you having trouble with the supernatural?
If so, call us: the brooklyn ghost investigators.
We will investigate, and answer all questions and let you know, If Furthur investigation is necessary,we will then let you know if anything else may be involved regarding clients matter.Such as house blessing, Or american indian smudgeing. (sage burning)etc.
for more info:
please contact sal

Gotta love it. Check out the clip art at the top. Awesome. And as Katia mentions, you really have to click over to The Brooklyn Optimist and read about Morgan’s phone call with Sal Cicconi, the founder of this, er, enterprise. Her interview gives us insight not otherwise provided by the other media reports (yes, I next found it on Fox News, the AP picked it up just a couple of hours ago, and WCBS has audio). For example, Sal explains the specifics of his first encounter with the spirit world:

Ciccone claims that one night he awoke at 3 am to see a “figure going to the window.” The phantom, a “tall, blurry” man, then turned to approach him, but “right when it was before my face it disappeared.”

Even if we give this guy the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s not completely full of shit, can anyone say “sleep paralysis?”

Morgan goes on to relay the fact that Cicconi is searching for volunteers to give him a hand hunting the haunters; “particularly aspiring exorcists with a digital camera, EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomena) recorder, or a car.”

All of this would be cute if he weren’t charging 20 bucks an hour for this “service.” Folks, if you’re genuinely freaked out by some weirdness in your home, call a reputable skeptical organization. They’ll actually find the squirrels in your attic, they won’t use a Ouija board to do it, and they won’t charge you a dime. On the other hand, if you want a clown for a birthday party, call Sal Cicconi at 718-345-5962.

March 3rd, 2008 by skidoo (No Comments »)

The grass is always greener on the other side of the cosmos.

March 2nd, 2008 by skidoo (No Comments »)

Deepak Chopra was on The Adam Corolla Show this past week, briefly discussing alternative “medicine” and promoting his latest book.

Listen to Deepak’s mellifluous voice explain that Western medicine is useful because it let’s you know everything about the human body, and makes you a good technician, but it doesn’t necessarily make you a healer, because you know nothing about the spirit.

It’s not some woo-woo stuff out there; it’s still very science-based.

That’s a direct quote. So if this spirit stuff is science-based, why isn’t it a part of mainstream medicine? Oh wait, it is, but under a less provocative name. We call it psychology, Deepak.

As others have pointed out, the so-called “alternative medicine” movement is nothing more than a transparent attempt to legitimize the lowering of healthcare standards. That is, if a treatment modality is truly safe and effective, it becomes a part of mainstream medicine by definition. If it doesn’t actually work, or if it’s just mainstream medicine re-packaged in woo plastic, it’s “alternative.”

Corolla immediately follows up with something to the effect of, “Can you stop cancer?” Which backs Chopra into the corner, essentially shedding the mystical trappings and just saying that if you can get yourself into a happy state of mind, your body will be more resistant to disease. Duh. Of course your state of mind affects your body’s immune response and other pathological processes. There’s been plenty of research on this over the years.

Then Chopra, in response to Carolla drawing an analogy between the pathological inevitabilities of cancer susceptibility and predisposition to body weight, basically advocates the Atkins Diet. Eliminate flour (carbs), eat more protein. Oh, and spicy foods increase your metabolism. No kidding. That’s why people sweat like glam rockers when they eat vindaloo.

Finally (to Chopra’s relief) we leave all this boring sciency stuff behind and Deepak gets to do what he really came on the show to do: flog his new book, The Third Jesus. You see, my unenlightened friend, the first Jesus is historical, the second Jesus is institutional. But the third Jesus is a state of mind that, if understood properly, will “totally transform your life.”

This is hilarious; think about it for a minute. We have zero reliable evidence for the existence of an historical Jesus. “We know very little about Him,” says Chopra. Actually, we know nothing about Him, but why split hairs? And the institutional Jesus? He’s been corrupted by translation and theology, as Chopra tells us, and used as a tool for manipulation, allowing churches to justify everything from the Crusades to homophobia.

Presumably the institutional Jesus was built out of the teachings of the ephemeral (if not entirely fabricated) historical Jesus. The institutional Jesus actually defines our experience of Jesus as we know Him today. So is this third Jesus in turn built on the institutionally twisted Jesus? Or are the keys to this supposedly transformative state of mind just cherry-picked from the few filtered aphorisms that actually make sense?

I’m sure Deepak reveals all in his new book. Which can be yours for only $24.00. I wonder if it comes with a certificate for a complimentary bottle of Zrii?

February 27th, 2008 by skidoo (No Comments »)

A new documentary film is in the works entitled Not Your Typical Bigfoot Movie. Rather than a credulous account of wannabe naturalists hiking through the woods declaring that piles of leaves are clearly bigfoot nests, it seems to be a look at the friendship between two men and their search for meaning, their bond being cemented by their shared fantasy. Wait, that sounds homo. It’s not like that. And I doubt the film actually passes judgement on the reality of bigfoot. The synopsis:

Not Your Typical Bigfoot Movie provides a look at the trials and triumphs of life in the Appalachian foot hills. Through the experiences of Dallas and Wayne, two amateur bigfoot researchers in southern Ohio, we see how the power of a dream can bring two men together in friendship and provide hope and meaning that transcend the harsh realities of life in a dying steel town.

I, for one, will definitely be seeing this bigfoot film.

It sounds as if it’s a window into the existential car crash that is the lives of these two men. I can’t look away. And I can’t help but feel sympathy. At least these guys have something bigger than themselves to believe in (pardon the pun). We all need hope, even if it (by definition) isn’t evidence-based. Is pseudoscience all bad? Or rather, is faith (belief without evidence) all bad?

I think that’s part and parcel to the human condition, that ability to manufacture hope. I think it’s probably necessary for sentient life. Unfortunately. Sure, “life is about the journey, not the destination.” Whatever. Blah, blah, blah. That sucks, especially for those of us who can’t help but see through the transparent shell of hope to the ultimate futility of life.

But lest anyone accuse me of going all sappy, I have to point out that the two, er, gentlemen depicted in this film are from Ohio. What is it about that crazy state?

February 21st, 2008 by skidoo (3 Comments »)

Sure, deaf people can read ghost stories, just like the rest of us. But we all appreciate a good live retelling of a spooky tale. Check out how this girl really gets into it. Note her violent gesticulations, evoking images of decapitation and splattering fluids. Awesome.

Really, I mean, what’s the sign for, “his flesh was hanging off of his face in bloody sheets?”

It’s got to be difficult to communicate the nuances of good stories—especially moody ghost stories—in American Sign Language. But it’s clear this young lady makes a hell of an effort. It’s just a shame it’s a wholly credulous ghost story, utterly bereft of skeptical analysis.